"sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" 2 Corinthians 6:10
the past few weeks we've been weathering a little storm around here. and by storm i mean spiritually, thankfully not physically we had no damage from the tornado's that hit dfw tuesday. i feel such shame to sit here and share our storm while others are suffering and dealing with far worse things. but i'm trying to be more of an open book here and really hope to look back on this post in a few years and see how God's present workings unfold. bare with me sweet friends.
my precious grandmother went to be with the Lord wednesday. although it is so selfishly painful for us to let her go, the truth of the matter is she is home!!
through this sadness, we are rejoicing.
my grandmother was an amazing woman with a feisty spirit. through those years of laughter, she also endured a lot of pain burying her oldest daughter from a car accident at a young age and my grandfather committing suicide six years ago. the strength and courage she carried humbles me. so i cannot stop praising him because i know she is reunited with her soul mate and her first born. and grandma always had perfect timing...how awesome to celebrate His rising then with the Man himself!!
the past few months (many months) i have really struggled with my relationship with the Lord. i've never wavered from loving Him or knowing His unmeasurable love for us. but i'm not gonna lie these last few months with my husband suffering in pain there were many moments in doctor's offices or the hospital when i exhaled a "where are you?" i was struggling to accept His will and not mine of fix my husband right this minute!! all the while i had a procedure to remove some polyps from my stomach lining and some biopsies to see the cause of some my digestive pain that we're praying will hopefully allow us to get on the baby train we so desperately want to board.
my husband is doing so much better. we still don't know a really good cause of the build up that led to his lung collapsing, and last week this lack of knowledge would keep me up at night. but i'm working on always rejoicing.
my results came back benign...praise the Lord. but my issues are still there and we're talking plan b. it's not going to be today or probably tomorrow or even the next before we find a treatment that works. but i'm learning to always rejoice.
so this Easter I am rejoicing! i'm rejoicing for the storm. for these trials that teach us to trust and cling to His love more. for His patience with His stubborn sheep like myself that think they know the way. for His perfect timing. and for His grace.